Knowing my expertise in the area of dating, the ladies, or at least I think they are ladies, at Savvymiss.com asked me to answer a question for a feature on their website.
What question should you never ask on a first date?
They gave me 500 words and I used every single fucking one of them! Check out my response over at Savvymiss.com and figure out what you've been doing wrong all these years.
If your significant other snoops through your internet history and you don't want him/her knowing you visited a site called Savvy Miss, then the text of my response is below:
First date. Ugh. They suck bad enough, so don't make things any harder for yourself by asking inane, annoying or incriminating questions. A good rule of thumb for
any question should keep the following axiom in mind: "Women will want to date a
guy multiple times, and if it really goes well, they will then want to f@#k; men will want to f@#k a girl multiple times, and if it really goes well, they will then want to date."
With that in mind, here are the top 10 questions women should never ask on a first date ... unless of course they deliberately want it to be the last date ...
10. "How many women have you slept with?" (While it is a valid question if you are out with a drug-using sex worker, it never does any good, and you will never get the truth.)
9. "What do you think of me?" (Hello, needygirl.com! Just assume he likes you. He won't tell you anything bad, so it's a pseudo-question that is really just you desperately fishing for compliments.)
8. "What are you thinking?" (Any guy who has had a long-term relationship before has 47 Samsonites full of luggage they carry around with them revolving around this loaded question. Stay away from it unless you want to witness him have a PTSD nam-style flashback or seizure.)
7. "Do you believe in God?" (At some point it might be nice to know if he is a high priest in a Satanic cult or a Jehovah's Witness, but save it for now. It's an argument in the making.)
6. "Do you like children?" (Do I really need to explain why? Guys are still trying to decide how much booze they need to imbibe to get the courage to make a move on you. The idea that their buzzing sperm could result in a child should be avoided for at least the first few months.)
5. "What happened with your last girlfriend?" (I killed her for asking annoying
questions.)
4. "Have you ever fooled around with a man?" (Thanks for calling me gay!)
3. "Do you believe in love at first sight?/Do you believe in fate?/ Do you believe in destiny?" (Run for the goddamned hills if any of these are ever asked! I get the chills just writing it.)
2. "Are you having a good time?" (Women, you do ask this one, and it's bizarre and confusing. This is the retarded half-sister of "What do you think of me?")
1. "Do you ever want to get married?" (Combine all of the horribleness of the above questions to form the ultimate first-date cockblocker on the planet.)
Herein lies the rub: it's a good idea not to scare someone off, but BE HONEST! If this IS someone you want to see again, the truth will come out eventually! That doesn't mean play "pull my finger," it just means be the best part of
yourself. Good luck, ladies!
Posted by Bill Dawes at 7:51 AM