Amy Whinehouse: The Little Cunt That Couldn't - August 14, 2007
I have to admit, when that crack-whore-mouthed, anorexic black-jazz-singer-wannabe named Amy Winehouse first came on the scene, I was one of those people who was like, "Okay, kind of an interesting voice. 'Rehab' is sort of catchy. I guess I sort of get it." Then I heard a bijillion people saying how cool she was for writing a song that essentially bragged about her adamant refusal to go to rehab, despite her excessive drinking and drug use. Okay, sure. I thought it was not the best message in the world and a little smug, but if that floated her boat, fine. I let it go and got back to focusing on more important things...like me.
Then recently, I saw her on some awards show and she looked fucked up and tweaked. If you don't know who I am talking about, she's the chick who looks like Mayim Bialik and Minnie Driver fucked, had a baby girl, sent her to the Pink School of Female Rock Stars, and then let her watch Dreamgirls one too many times.
X 
= 
She was doing that Paris Hilton thing where she only shows one look and one angle to the camera (that same goddamned profile), so she could hide her undesirable features. Winehouse was trying to hide the large gaping hole in her smile where a bicuspid should be. She could barely walk and seemed out of her mind during her set. Alright, I thought, she does crack or serious cocaine, and lost a tooth as a result. She truly is a tweaked chick.
I didn't mind. I like fucked up people. Particularly fucked up people who claim their fucked-up-ness. And if they are completely self-aware and in control of their fuckedupness, then I kind of dig it. I dig that Keith Richards is a productive junkie who gets blood transfusions to clear out his system every six months. I can respect that. He doesn't really brag about it. It's just his life and he's managed to rock out with his cock out for over 30 years.
Amy Winehouse, however, has made millions and millions of dollars and garnered huge international fame capitalizing on her alleged self-awareness about her drug and alcohol use, simultaneously mocking social institutions designed to help people out who DON'T have the same super cool self-awareness and control that she has. "Hahahaha, they wanted to send me to rehab, and I'm like 'nigga please!'" That's the motto that made her a million bucks in a month and galvanized a drunken army of MySpace whores to slur the song at college bars before going home with a random guy and contracting pre-cancerous HPV.
Know what? Fine. I don't care if people think that's kind of hip. Even people I know in AA dig that stance. She's just so much more self-possessed and cooler and ABOVE all of those poor people who have to struggle with their substance abuse. "You can go to rehab, nerds, but I'm all no, no, no!"
Then the stupid bitch ODs.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........
Poor wittle Amy Whinehouse ODs and gets hospitalized. She gets her stomach pumped and has to cancel her concert with, not without irony, The Rolling Stones.
THEN, she and her "team"--that has been paid for and assembled SOLELY thanks to the popularity of that arrogant anti-rehab anthem called "Rehab"--go on a huge, confused publicity blitz.
In her public statements, she describes how scawy it was for her. Then she....You know what, I'll let the silly twat do the talking:
"I don't know how to explain what happened. I don't really know myself. I can't remember what I looked like. I couldn't recognize myself."
What the fuck are you talking about!?! What!?
Okay, sounds like a heroin overdose, right?
Then, her "team" issues a statement that she was hospitalized due to "severe exhaustion."
Really, team, "severe exhaustion?"
Dumb housewives bought that pr-bs in the 70s when no one really realized what the fuck was going on with drugs yet. But in 2007, when that self-proclaimed, self-promoting crackwhore has to be hospitalized, get a shot of adrenaline, cancel a show, and get her stomach pumped, all the overpaid PR team at this think tank could come up with when they ransacked the collective archives of their feeble, trite minds was "severe exhaustion!?" SLAM DUNK! You know, sometimes I get so tired I also want to inject brown shit between my toes, but you know what I do: I take a nappy poo! Yeah, a little sleepy time does the trick! I don't mean this in a bad way, but I hope they all die slow, painful deaths from cancer of the asshole.
But enough about the pimps. Back to the whore.
Amy Whiney Ho keeps blabbing to the reporter like a retard in the middle of a watermelon Jolly Rancher overdose!
She blubbered:
"It was terrifying. I was terrified. I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me. I'm sorry--I just don't know what got into me. I never want to feel that way again. I've scared myself this time. I was all over the place. I know things have got to change. I need to sort myself out."
WHOOOOOOOOOOOA! Here it comes. An apology, right? She is gonna to say, "You know, I put out a shitty message to young people and was really immature and arrogant writing a song about how stupid rehab is. In truth, I'M the one who is stupid. I realize now that there are thousands and thousands of trained, qualified, and caring people who have dedicated their lives to social institutions that deal with the rehabilitation of alcohol and drug abusers, and I have been disrespecting them and their lives' work with that Billie Holiday rip-off song of mine. I am entering a program now and will hopefully be back co-opting black jazz singers for the next 30 years of my drug-free life!!"
Nope. She didn't say that.
She said this:
"When I get self-destructive I just need to spend time with my dad. Rehab is a cop-out."
Oooooh, you're such a cool heroin junkie!
Well...I think using drugs to deal with your LIFE is the fucking cop-out, you stupid gaping flesh wound.
And I also think your dad raised a narcissistic, self-destructive, drug-addicted CUNT, so maybe HE isn't the person you need to be going to. I'm thinking daddy did enough damage already. Maybe you should seek out people who have spent their lives trying to figure out how to help others with this very same problem.
I live on the same block as The Fountain House in Manhattan. It is literally the first social institution ever built in America. Currently, it's a very successful rehab center for addicts and a halfway house for people with other mental and psychological problems. I walk down the street every day amidst a menagerie of shaky, twitchy freaks. I'm friends with some of them, sort of (well, sometimes we chat about candy and chocolate milk), and I talk to the social workers sometimes as well. Those are some hardcore, dedicated motherfuckers. I couldn't do that shit. It's hard enough when I inadvertently smell some of their patients. Those social workers are better people than me, that's for sure.
I don't know why I mention that, other than the fact that it's nice to know that Amy Whinewhore could just disrespect everything they do with a dismissive, "Rehab is a cop-out."
No, Amy Winehouse, YOU are copping out.
Like I said, I don't care what you do in your life. But people who make all their money bragging about a horrible lifestyle and then don't have the constitution to deal with it DESERVE WHAT THEY GET! ALL OF THEM! And yes, that means you too, Bill Hicks. It was great when you were wearing all black, smoking cigarettes onstage, and complaining that all non-smokers were whiny pussies. Well Bill, you were a funny motherfucker, so I hope you at least were still able to laugh ironically at yourself when you got cancer.
Too much? I don't know.
All I know is that whatever the hell this phenomenon is called, it pisses me off. It's not hypocrisy exactly, it's the opposite side of that same coin, I think. Either way, it's stuff like this that really makes me believe in God, and helps me realize that He truly has a great sense of humor.
What's your take on Amy Winehouse and this phenomenon? Tell me about it--hit POST REPLY in the "Amy Winehouse" thread of the Rudius Media message board
Posted by Bill Dawes at 10:40 AM
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Comments
Bitch is in rehab a yea yea yea
Posted by: ron at August 14, 2007 04:11 PM
Hah, I do work in funny ways.
Posted by: God at August 14, 2007 04:21 PM
I agree!
It upsets me that she's bragging about shunning rehab as if being an addict isn't a serious problem. Layne Staley, a truly gifted musician, sang about drugs. He even had a song "Real Thing" with a lyric "went in to rehab, you know the doctors never did me no good." Yet, listening to that song, it's not glorifying drug use. None of Alice in Chains songs did. You listen to this song, you feel the pain of a troubled man. It's so sad knowing what he went through and how painful his last years were as he went through the dying process, yet this dumb bitch and several others make a mockery of the issue of addiction.
Posted by: skippy at August 14, 2007 05:46 PM
Here's a website you may find useful. http://www.addicted.com is a site for friends, families, and those who suffer from various addictions.
Posted by: Addiction Rehab at August 15, 2007 01:37 PM
i met amy winehouse once. i told her to suck my dick and she said, no, no, no.
Posted by: judd at August 15, 2007 02:14 PM
Jeesh Bill, PMSing or what!!!!
Posted by: Jay at August 15, 2007 03:01 PM
amy whinehouse looks like a post op man, i swear to god she was once a man, just look at her face
Posted by: rich at August 18, 2007 06:55 PM
yo u know who she looks like......that character "janice" from friends, not that I watch friends, they put it on at this gym I go to
Posted by: that guy at September 6, 2007 05:15 PM
"People do the best they can, given their level of awareness."
-Deepak Chopra
...so she tripped and fell. (Okay AND broke some bones and shit!)
I just hope she gets to the level of awareness where articles like this one roll off her back.
Posted by: The Forgiver at September 7, 2007 03:35 PM
Bill Hicks died of pancreatic cancer, not lung cancer.
Posted by: mary at September 11, 2007 10:43 PM
yes mary, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....
what?
what's your point?
smoking has also been linked to panceatic cancer; read a magazine or something.
Posted by: billdawes at September 12, 2007 02:03 AM
#
Cigarette smoke contains a large number of carcinogens (cancer causing chemicals). Therefore, it is not surprising that cigarette smoking is one of the biggest risk factors for developing pancreatic cancer. For example, smoking during college has been associated with a 2-3 fold increased risk of pancreatic cancer.
oh yeah, where's that from? John Hopkins.
So suck it, mary.
Posted by: billdawes at September 12, 2007 02:06 AM
As much as I support everyone's right to breathe, has anyone ever thought what would happen to the economy if smoking were made illegal? The industry dollars GONE, and we're not even talking about the 80% of the cost of a pack being taxes. Go ahead, hate smoking and smokers, but they pay for a LOT of shit. Not only that, when I was a server, I would rather serve a smoker any day. They actually tip. Non smokers are impatient, nasty, fukkers who take it out on the server when the food doesn't fly out of the kitchen. A smoker just fires up another cancer stick and waits for their food to appear.
Posted by: Netty at October 23, 2007 09:22 AM
A talentless twat - WTF buys this shit?
Posted by: ras beavis at July 2, 2008 02:09 AM
gotta agree with everythin about her....people go on about pete doherty, but at least hes got a talent for songwriting....she's got nowt
Posted by: RICH at July 30, 2008 12:40 PM
amy w. is a freak, so what she's a 'good' song writer, she is simply a freak, and any one who promotes people that are freaky are also freaks or have freaky tendencys that are just waiting for their turn to come out and show their own freakiness. paparazzi are freaks too. there's alot of freaks in the world, you use to have go to the side show in a travlin' circus to see freaks, but now with internet and tv and such you can just sit back & invite 'freak' into your home, or not. what really freaks me out is how some one as freaky as amy can be so friggn' rich (monetarily, cuz you know her soul is broke) just because she writes good tunes, and then there are so many hard workin non freaks who have to struggle to pay their bills and keep the debt collectors 0ff their ass, you know REAL LIFE SHIT. and so the saga goes, you who buy amy's shit and promote any thing freaky amy does are freaks in your own right, get a freakn' life.
Posted by: scott at May 2, 2009 12:32 PM
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